Braden's Movie Reviews

Mulan is back, with all the charm of a corpse... Braden White Disney© For the sake of transparency, even without watching, I would’ve advocated against paying to see Mulan (2020) on principle alone. The trend of Disney remaking their older animated films into drab live-action cash grabs devoid of any shred of passion is a disgusting practice that needs to stop. It allows them to exploit the average consumer in their comfort zone without any real effort on the creative front.  But hey, you gotta hand it to the house of mouse, even in the face of unprecedented global pandemic, they still find a way to take advantage of naive audiences. I know we all hate it when our guaranteed box office behemoth gets thwarted by a measly little flu (figures the only way this movie wouldn’t make a billion dollars would be if every single movie theater in the world shut down). That being said, thirty fucking dollars to watch this at home? It’s the type of anti-consumer bullshit that would only be don...

The Dirt  lives up to its name... Braden White Netflix© "Cringy" is a word used by kids in comment sections and would immediately discredit anyone attempting legitimate criticism. The Dirt is cringy. The cinematic retelling of the career of the infamous hard rock band Mötley Crüe, The Dirt , based on their autobiography of the same name, is advertised as an "unflinching" portrayal of the group's controversial career. Given the subject matter, this could've been something really interesting, as arguably no other band better embodied the drug and sex-fueled mayhem that falls in line with your Christian grandmother's nightmarish perception of rock & roll. On top of this, that sweet sweet Netflix backing meant the filmmakers had the chance to accurately depict the madness without fear of box office repercussions. This really seemed like a fresh formula after Bohemian Rhapsody mutilated the story of one of the most outrageous and influen...

Top 5 Films of 2018... Braden White As it goes when making an end of year list a full two months after the year ended is that everyone has already moved on from 2018. The ship has sailed, come back and left again on this one. Even the Oscars almost beat me to the punch, an award's show so far behind that up until 2019 it didn't air until 1/4 of the way through the following year. The only reason to still work on a "best of the year" list at this point isn't to celebrate 2018, but rather to encapsulate it. To leave a reminder for down the line of where my perspective on film was at the time. So here are the top five films I enjoyed the most, was most captivated by, most affected by, and/or appreciated the most of 2018:           #5 Avengers Infinity War Marvel/Disney© From an unapologetic critic of Marvel movies, it feels a little strange to place the culmination of a decade of box office domination and meticulous universe building on my list of...

Burnham's Directorial Debut is Genuine, Heartfelt, and (Almost) Amazing... Braden White A24© Its pretty incredible to think director Bo Burnham is only twenty-seven. In just a short career he has established himself on the stand-up scene with his own distinct blend of erratic humor with music and theatrics, as well as reaching international fame with several successful comedy specials across Comedy Central and Netflix. With such a strong portfolio a feature film wasn't much of a surprise. What is a surprise is that he chose to focus his film around middle schoolers. An experienced director has a hard enough time writing dialogue for and directing little kids. However, most surprising is that in his directorial debut, Burnham crafted one of the best coming-of-age stories in recent years. Teenager Kayla Day (Elsie Fisher) navigates her final week of middle school while attempting to transform herself from the introverted girl she has always been. In order to ...

Solo: A Mediocre Star Wars Story... Braden White Disney © It's important to note that "Solo: A Star Wars Story" had everything stacked against it. Right as it was announced, the vast majority of Star Wars fans expressed their disinterest in seeing a Han Solo prequel. His character was already so prominent that seeing a big screen presentation of his story would be a waste of time and resources when there are so many other stories to be explored. "Rogue One" was a solid example of an elaboration on a small element of the Star Wars universe which had little exposure previously. The casting of Alden Ehrenreich drew its own controversy as the recasting of one of the most iconic characters in cinema would anger fans no matter what. However, this would only pail in comparison to the myriad of production issues. From the firing of directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller ("Lego Movie", "21 Jump Street"), to the rumors of acting coaches being ...

'Isle of Dogs' is Weird and Wonderful... Braden White Isle of Dogs 2018© It is extremely uncommon nowadays for a director to have garnered enough critical and commercial respect to be given the funds to produce anything they want. There’s very few people who could wake up with the goal to make a stop motion movie about talking dogs who live on an island in Japan starring the man who played Walter White, and achieve exactly that. One person who could do this is Wes Anderson, a director who is behind some of the most stylish and unique films of the last twenty years (“Rushmore,” “Moonrise Kingdom,”and “Grand Budapest Hotel” to name a few). Anderson’s latest film “Isle of Dogs” is his second foray into stop motion, and has quietly been winning over critics and audiences alike on its way to becoming one of the most memorable animated films of this decade.   Twenty years in the future, the fictional city of Megasaki is overrun with “Dog flu” resulting in an execut...